A terrible noise waked me up ...and the pain...God...this pain is too much for me...I cannot bear it... I can`t move a muscle but I feel that I am laid down. I cry for painkillers but no one can hear me. I feel a bright light ...I know its bright because my eyes hurt. I don`t know where I am and I try to open my eyes...I can`t...I can`t move a muscle and the pain is so unbearable... I try to open my mouth...to ask for a pill...to tell them I`m hurting...I can barely hear myself...
My husband is near me...I will tell him that I`m in pain and than he will do something...
"Pain...Pain...It pains me...please...too much ...please...it hurts..." I cry...I feel the tear drops on my face...and the pain grows bigger and bigger...I can also feel my husband ... he is worried...he does not know what to do....I hear him asking someone for painkillers but the nurse answers that she can`t help me...this is the natural curse of the surgery...I must endure all this...It will all be over soon...
My head...they raised the bed and my head along with it...I thought that the pain will not be greater but it was...No one told me that it will hurt that much....I ask them to let the bed down like it was but no one understands what I want...I cry a lot because of the pain...It`s horrific.... It`s like a midday bad dream when you now you are asleep, you want to wake up but you just can`t...
They transported me in my room...I know this because I hear Dina`s voice...Its better because they did not put any pillow under my head so the pain starts to loose the intensity...I feel a terrible thirst... but I`m not allowed to any liquids. My husband moist my lips with some water... its not what I wanted but its something...
This pain does not go away at all...when it will all be over? Now I can open my eyes...Dina is at my side...very worried and full of compassion...just like a mother for her child...God blessed me when He gave her to me...she comforts me telling me that will all go away and I`ll be OK in no time...I can tell that is very late, maybe even the break of dawn of the next day....Dina did not sleep....she was with me all night...it will be morning soon and a lot of people will come into our room...I survived!
Its Saturday! Very soon we will celebrate Palm Sunday, the day that Jesus entered Jerusalem...The Easter is closing in...I will feel pain along with our Lord, Jesus Christ, and I will recover with Him. I will reborn just like He did...I promise myself now that I will be a better person...that I will do good...because this is a sign...But firs I have to go through my first day...the first day of the rest of my life....I feel hope, excitement and pain...but all this can`t cover the power I feel within me...If I ever had any doubt now I have the confirmation....I am strong...I am powerful...I am special....Anything can happen now because I`m prepared....nothing can bring me down because I have been at the gates of Death...Hell was the pain I have been through ...and Heaven and bliss is what I experience now....God does exists and Has big planes for me....I wonder... what will happen next?
