April 1st, 2012
Today people around the world celebrate Palm Sunday. Even tough its not yet a year since my surgery I still feel that I must celebrate my rebirth. I will celebrate my first year of my new life on April the15th. It was a very beautiful one...and full of miracles.
It all started when I arrived home...an I have found that my friends secretly prepared the home for my arrival. They piked me up from the aircraft, gave me all the assistance and when I arrived home and I found everything prepared for Easter...I could have cried...of joy...in my heart and in my mind I thanked God that moment that gave me friends like this.
You can all imagine that the recovery went pretty smooth...I felt pain of course but I had a purpose...I wanted to go back to work...I was missing my colleagues, my friends, my job...you will probably laugh but I love what I do and I wanted to go back as soon as I could sit.
I started to realize that I was seeing things differently...I could not say exactly how...but it was different...The day I went back to work was like nothing had changed...everything was the same except the way people looked at me...some with pity, some with happiness, some with admiration, some with wonder. For the first time this did not bothered me.
I promised myself that this time around I will do the things my way...and for as much my nature let me...I did. I was on vacation to Spain, I learned how to drive, I visited Palma de Mallorca (it was one of the things from my "to do" list :)), I started to tell people around me how I feel, I looked and found friends from my childhood, I started to take action...I got involved in my life... when I think that something is crazy and I should not do it...I go ahead and do it :)
Funny...its so funny that when I found out that I have cancer I decided that its time for me to live my live....and I have realized that I`m not alone in this...everybody does it...we are trapped in our daily chores that we don`t see what is realy important. We have never enough, we always fight for more power, money, status...and we forget to live....my life was there...right in front of me, but I never lived it....I always said that tomorrow, next week, in a year or two....I will have enough time to do what I want, to have what I really want... like when I was a child and I was telling to my self that when I`ll grow older I will have what I want...
Life is now... no matter in what form you see it: is there...right in front of you...and its waiting for you. If I have learned something from this is that you must never put things on hold, don`t hold grunge, be brave to be yourself because you are beautiful. Live a good life, think good things, do only good deeds for yourself and the community you belong to and you will find Heaven on Earth... and most important: Love yourself and forgive yourself no matter what...God is....Be your biggest fan...you worth it :)
