Chapter Six

Little snow flakes were falling down to Earth, embracing me... like someone was sending a message especially for me...that I`m not alone. I was in a hurry because I knew that my appointment is for 1,30 pm and its already 2 o`clock.  The building appears to be a new one, I wonder what it will be like...I heard only the strangest things about radiotherapy.


In the lobby there are a lot of people.  It seems that I have to stay for a while... in 15 minutes an assistant comes to my direction. It was the assistant designated to my case. He started to smile while he was telling me what will happen with me in the very next minutes.


I feel very strange not because I`m sick but because I`m young. Everybody is looking at me ... I can almost hear what they are thinking. "Poor little girl...so sad that she has this illness"... I`m lucky that I`m not alone. My husband is with me every step of the way. We are both surprised to find here someone we know...so sad that people don`t share their grief. I`m so sorry for them.


Alin, the assistant, is calling for me. My heart starts to  pomp the blood very hard and I`m entering on autopilot module. My husband can not come with me to the accelerator room. I`ll be all alone in there. There, in the waiting room is the same woman that I found in chemotherapy. We started talking about life, about children, about cancer. Its the second time for her. She appears to be tired, not willing to fight another battle.


The road to the accelerator is like a mouse trap. Wide corridors, white walls, labyrinth trail. Alin was leading the way. We arrived at a corner and he asked me to wait. The patient that finished the session has to dress up. Its an old woman, probably in her seventies.


The machine is impressive.  Computers and cameras everywhere. Alin asked me to take off my clothes. If there is anything I hate in this world is to take my clothes of in front of  a stranger. Oh...and needles. It seems that I`ll be in the situation of encounter them a lot in the near future so I let go.


I`m asked to lay down and breath normally.  Its very important not to move, otherwise the laser beam will not irradiate the precise spot.  I feel like I`m in a Star Trek scene... everything appears to be very futuristic. The accelerator moves side wise, beneath and above me. The entire session lasted not more than three minutes. When Alin came  back into the room I expected to feel different, to feel something strange...but I did not feel a thing. The first day of fighting cancer was finished. I try not to think so much of what I`m loosing, but to think about what I`m fighting for...my life!