The treatment I was under caused no apparent damage. I did not feel a thing with Cisplatin, but when they were inserting Mannitol I felt like my arm will drop very soon. The irradiation made that no hair will grow on the zone that was treated. The first side effects appeared with the third session. I felt so sick then that I thought I will not survive that night.
First I started feeling very cold....and I mean very, very cold...the heat was on in our house and I was dressed up like I was going camping on a mountain during frost time. I had even boots on my feet. I was in bed covered with blankets...and I was freezing to death....I was like this for three hours, when I got very sick indeed. I throw up (like my life was ending) and then I started feeling very hot. Like I was in the oven...The next day, feeling very nausea, I went back to the hospital requesting for some IV with glucose and vitamins (C, B1, B6). This "cocktail" made me feel better.
I met a lot of great people during my sessions of chemotherapy. Great, intelligent people. There was a lady, a former teacher, that I grew specially funned of. During our long talks we discovered that we are almost the same. The latest discovery in cancer is that the personality of a person can lead to this illness...so maybe, the way we are, made us go this path we are walking now. Knowing how much I love books she recommended me one that was truly an enchantment reading it: IT DOES NOT DIE by Maitrey Devi. Of course, one can not read this book before Maitrey by Mircea Eliade and its mandatory to know something about Indian culture in order to understand the authors.
During my treatment I started a diet based only on vegetables. Beetroot, mushroom and broccoli were my best friends. We made everything in our house: soy milk and tofu, bread, so that I would not be exposed to preservatives and toxic foods. I was not allowed to eat any animal proteins. And it worked. The difference between me an the other patients was visible with the naked eye. The other patients that were under the same treatment I was were Grey and sad, with no appetite for life...I was full of life, colorful and joyful almost every time...like a little bird...very chirpy. I`m not saying that was not feeling bad, but it was bearable...and I tried to laugh as much as I could.
Another thing that I consider important during chemotherapy is to maintain good spirit. When I was not reading a book, I was watching a film. Its very important to watch movies with positive messages: comedies and cartoons. I strongly recommend Indian movies because you will not find them so violent as European or American movies. And they are full of bright, happy colors and very good music. I recommend: Kuch Kuch Hota Hai, Har Dil Jo Pyar Karega, Asoka, Chalte Chalte, Kal Ho Naa Ho, Main Hoon Na, Veer-Zaara, Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna, Om Shanti Om, Bhoothnath, My Name Is Khan, Chori Chori Chupke Chupke, Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham, Devdas, Saathiya, Hum Tum, Black, Paheli, Laaga Chunari Mein Daag, Dil Bole Hadippa!, Lagaan, Rang De Basanti, Fanaa, Dil Chahta Hai, Taare Zameen Par, 3 Idiots, Swades, Main Hoon Na. There are a lots of good Indian movies. Mostly, if Shahrukh Khan, Rani Mukherjee, Preity Zinta, Aamir Khan, Salman Khan, Abhishek Bachchan, Saif Ali Khan or Amitabh Bachchan star in the film you want to see, than its worth it.
You can also keep good spirit by listening the music you like (I discovered Maksim Mrvica during my treatment), by going outside and admire nature, by exercising, visiting people and places you love, make beautiful things and make new friends. You must never give up or give in to the dark thoughts. Dark thoughts will bring disaster in your life and will consume all your energy. And you need all the energy to fight cancer. Say to yourself that God loves you and He will not forsaken you every time you`ll feel disarmed in front of cancer (or any other hard situation you`re going through). Remember the story of Job whenever you feel week. And most important: never-ever ask yourself : WHY ME?
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